Moving past "what if" into "what is"

Regret and remorse have always been difficult for me. "What if....." has plagued me throughout my journey of recovery for the past 20 years. Its twin, "if only...." has had his way with me as well. I have spent far too much time thinking about missed opportunities, lost moments, spoiled innocence, dysfunctional relationships, and whatever else I could torture myself with. All these have threatened to usurp my ability to be at peace in my present moment. The ability to move on in life is critical to becoming a victor and not being stuck in victim mode. Sadly, many never do.

I find inspiration in one incident found in Matthew 26:36-46 (tlb). Jesus took Peter, James, and John with him into the garden of Gethsemane to pray. He needed them to walk through this most difficult valley with Him. "My soul is crushed with horror and sadness to the point of death... stay here....STAY AWAKE WITH ME", Jesus said. But what he found when he returned from a brief moment alone with the Father was 3 guys asleep. After encouraging them to keep alert and pray, he returned again to find them sleeping. Really? Two chances and they blew it. Epic fail would be the Facebook post describing this critical moment in the life of the 3 disciples. I can only imagine the guilt and shame of failing Him in His most critical hour. My self talk would have been something like this: "If only I had stayed awake and prayed with Him, maybe this would not have happened." And here's the best part. After returning to them a third time and finding them asleep, Jesus says, "UP! Let's be going!" No shame. No condemnation. Only orders for the next move forward.

If we could say these four words to ourselves after our mistakes (or better yet, hear HIM say them), what a difference it would make in our ability to keep moving forward into our spiritual destiny. I believe the key to moving forward at the fastest pace lies with Acceptance.

Accept that "it"will never be perfect. I will never be perfect. My world will never be perfect. The people in my world will never be perfect.

Accept that the path ahead will be the absolute best imaginable in the hands of an active, loving, and merciful God who cares for me more than I can understand.

Accept that my past failures and shortcoming in no way limit my future in Him. One of the best pastors I have listened to in one of the fastest-growing, most anointed churches I have attended is open about his past failures. He walks in acceptance and the freedom that it brings.

Acceptance says to the world that I can live with my past and don't need to shut the door on it. My past can help others who are struggling to break free.

"No, dear brothers, I am still not all I should be but I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to  what lies ahead." Phil 3:13(tlb)